Sometimes the best things are those you must wait for...
Tag by ~*~The Tag Lounge~*~
Last night Kari and I had a heart to heart talk. Each time we do it amazes me how much our relationship has changed...evolved, over the years. Twelve years ago she and Amy resented me, even hated me a bit. Not because of anything I had done or said, it was merely the situation we found ourselves in.
In the beginning, I found myself constantly questioning what I was doing...belittling myself. I asked their father how he saw my role in their lives...he shrugged his shoulders and admitted he didn't know. I wanted to be a part of the girls' lives, but they kept me at arm's length, yet they always wanted me to drive them and their friends, everywhere. And so I did. Why? Because at some point I came to the following conclusion: I couldn't be their mother, to me that is sacred ground (I lost my mother too and I resented any woman who thought she could just come into my life and fill my mother's shoes); and I couldn't be their friend because of my relationship with their father. So I decided the only thing I could be, was to be there, for them. Just be there. To give them unconditional love. That is what they needed. It wasn't an easy journey.
Now, when we talk, both Amy and Kari acknowledge they shut me out all those years ago. When they do I tell them it's okay. I tell them back then I knew, deep in my heart, it wouldn't always be that way. I knew someday they would grow up and become adults. I knew someday we would have an adult relationship. In my heart, I knew the day that I was waiting for would come, but I had to hold on, and let go.
So I held on, and I let go.
I believe in miracles. I believe in angels. I believe in the power of love.
Have a wonderful Easter. Tag by ~*~The Tag Lounge~*~
~~Vision is what brings unity.~~
~~You really are enough.~~