Ya know how when you read something and a memory comes back? After reading your latest chapter of Metamorphosis, I remembered why I resented Mom so much when I was younger (and, yes, still). Her behavior towards us. We thought she hated us. We were just kids and had no idea what was going on. Mom didn't talk to us. We knew nothing! For that, I have other reasons for resenting her. I hope by reading your book, I can heal old wounds and maybe, some how, regain some lost memories and understand a bit more of what Mom was like before her last 2 years on this planet. And, during her last 2 years. The Mom I remember wasn't always home and when she was home, she wouldn't talk and was not a pleasant person to be around.
Chris - I knew when I started writing this again, my words would resurrect old memories. And feelings, both good and bad. Things that may be best forgotten. Yes, we were just kids, and while I didn't know everything that was going on, as the oldest I had some idea...lacking any validation from Mom or anyone else. And for all those reasons you just gave, I was there for you. I had to be. I knew how it felt to be alone in the dark with no one to turn to...no one to talk to...no one to listen...no one to hold me. I understood that feeling and I did not want you to EVER feel the same way. Someone had to be there for you.
I hope by reading my words that the long term effect on you is one of healing and that someday you will emerge from this experience with many things...but most of all I hope you can let go of the resentment. It wasn't easy, but years ago I forgave Mom for everything she did. What a release...
Remember, it wasn't just her...it was the drugs that hurt us.
4 comments:
Heading over there right now...
OK, I am most interested here! I have to go back to Chapter one. I'll get back to you!
Jimmy
Ya know how when you read something and a memory comes back? After reading your latest chapter of Metamorphosis, I remembered why I resented Mom so much when I was younger (and, yes, still). Her behavior towards us. We thought she hated us. We were just kids and had no idea what was going on. Mom didn't talk to us. We knew nothing! For that, I have other reasons for resenting her. I hope by reading your book, I can heal old wounds and maybe, some how, regain some lost memories and understand a bit more of what Mom was like before her last 2 years on this planet. And, during her last 2 years. The Mom I remember wasn't always home and when she was home, she wouldn't talk and was not a pleasant person to be around.
Chris
Chris - I knew when I started writing this again, my words would resurrect old memories. And feelings, both good and bad. Things that may be best forgotten. Yes, we were just kids, and while I didn't know everything that was going on, as the oldest I had some idea...lacking any validation from Mom or anyone else. And for all those reasons you just gave, I was there for you. I had to be. I knew how it felt to be alone in the dark with no one to turn to...no one to talk to...no one to listen...no one to hold me. I understood that feeling and I did not want you to EVER feel the same way. Someone had to be there for you.
I hope by reading my words that the long term effect on you is one of healing and that someday you will emerge from this experience with many things...but most of all I hope you can let go of the resentment. It wasn't easy, but years ago I forgave Mom for everything she did. What a release...
Remember, it wasn't just her...it was the drugs that hurt us.
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