It was bound to happen sooner or later, and today was the day. I had a meltdown...at work. The worse possible place at the worse possible time. It started yesterday and just spiraled downwards from there. Thoughts of quitting entered my mind a couple of times...just walking out and saying 'Screw it...I don't deserve this and I certainly don't need it!' But they are just thoughts. Not my actions.
It was while I was talking to my boss, trying to sort everything out, that I broke down. She said, "I know you are feeling under-valued right now,"...her words must have struck a chord. For a few moments I lost my grip. I know what my problem is, I feel I can't depend on anyone, because they usually let me down. The times I have reached out, I met disappointment, so I stopped reaching. I became an island. I became flexible in a rigid world. And now my emotions, my body, my mind, my psyche are paying the price.
So, I'm taking tomorrow off. To mend, to heal, to reflect. To unbend.
3 comments:
Aww, I hope everything goes well for you. You know maybe if you had some hobby to take your mind off of the days stress will help you feel better. I see you like photography and it seems like the scenery around where you live is beautiful! You could also do Yoga or some kind of stress-relieving exercise. Just slow down! lol. I hope you the best....
..::Gaye::..
Sometimes, mental health days are more important than sick days. Love your journal!
so sorry about your day Magster! I had a BAD night....just needed time alone...like you need tomorrow. Hang in the girlfriend. I am here if you need me! We just can't both get in a funk at the same time or we are gonna need a LOT of ice cream. xoxo Robin
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