Notes on This Winter Solstice

It is time. This is the Winter Solstice. 

Into darkness we plunge as winter draws itself over us. Soon we reach the apex of a dying year in a single night as it lengthens past all other nights -- the Solstice. In our deepest hush we are given pause to reflect. 

The longest and darkest night is upon us, but remember, the sun is slowly making its way back. This is the spiritual significance of this day known as Winter Solstice, marking the beginning of the celebration of Yule. We eagerly anticipate the days that will be lighter and warmer. 

However, this long night is also an opportunity for a cleansing of the soul, just like the New Moon which occurs this Friday, Dec 23. 

Have you ever dug into the history and significance of the dates that mark the changing seasons? It's quite fascinating and provides a poetic glimpse into history and folklore.

Most of what we know about Winter Solstice and Yule celebrations is rooted in the traditional holiday festivities of various northern European traditions, particularly that of the pre-Christian Germanic peoples. When the days grew colder and the nights grew longer, people of ancient times would light candles and gather round fires to lure back the sun.

Yule is symbolized by twinkling lights, bells, snowflakes, sun wheels, candles, wreath, sun and stars, yule log, pinecone, yule tree, and spinning wheels. Winter Solstice colors also symbolize Yuletide folklore with dark green, orange, red, gold and silver and white...colors we see prominently displayed in everything this time of year. 

The celebration of the Yule holiday is a time to clean your home and purge everything that no longer serves you. Doing so will help prepare for this joyous season as well, by creating a space free from any negative energy or memories which may have accumulated over the past year. 

The most important part about celebrating Christmas in our modern lives is cleaning up before it begins! By taking some hours during December’s lead-up period to deeply cleanse both mind and house, we can set ourselves up with an open heart without all that old mental clutter holding us back. 

Winter Solstice is an opportune time for endings and beginnings, as throughout my life several momentous events occurred on the Winter Solstice. On December 21, 1985, I moved back to Lewiston from Sacramento after spending four years of my life living there. Six years later, on December 21, 1991, it marked the end of my life alone, and the beginning of my relationship with Sam. Winter Solstice is a suitable time for rest, reflection, kindness, healing, goal setting, gratitude, peace, renewal, solitude, slumber and celebrating with family and loved ones. 

In an earth's quiet night, how shall we comfort and renew each other's hearts?

Catching myself

Monday, September 19, 2022, came and like every year before, I let it go; but not before marking it with a few minutes spent in silent vigil remembering you.

Privately.

No post on social media announcing to everyone what Monday meant to me, mainly because very few people within my social media circle ever met you. Most everyone I know today have no idea who you were, so why should I expect them to care when there was never any connection between you and them? But mostly because on the night you left, and in the days that followed, no one reached out to comfort me. No one. From that experience I began to realize the truth in the words you always told me..."Be your own best friend, because the only person you can ever depend on, is yourself."

I always wondered why a mother would tell that to her daughter. Today I know it was because that was your reality, it is what you knew. You knew that people can only love and support others to the extent of the love and support they received in the past. You were trying to protect me from ever knowing the pain you felt. Did it work? Sometimes. But then there are the times I found myself longing for someone to be there, to catch me when I fell. Today I can tell you I have mastered the art of catching myself when I fall; but truth be told, sometimes I wish I had a safe place to land outside of myself.

There are days when I wonder. I wonder what you would think about the world today. I wonder how you would behave on social media. I wonder if you would even be on social media. I wonder if all the advice and wisdom you handed down to me during my formative years of childhood would be any different today if you had experienced more decades of your life. I wonder what your face would look like, gazing upon the face of your grandchild, or great grandchild.

It's been 44 years since you left us. Yet on days like this, it feels like only yesterday.

Of all the things you gave me mom, it is your smile I treasure the most. It is the one thing I vow no one will ever take from me.

Wonder...

 I hope I never grow tired of looking up to the night sky, the feel of a gentle breeze on my cheeks, of watching cream make galaxies in my coffee. I hope I never grow to be someone who can no longer see the small, beautiful things in each day of my life. I hope I never lose my sense of wonder. 

Here I Go Again

There was a time, after watching news about some dictator taking over a country, I always found myself wondering how people...good everyday people...could continue to live in a country under a dictator's rule. 

Now I know. 

One little word

This year it's Joy. Last year it was Savor.

Whether it's called one little word  or word of the year, it's all the same.

Duke offered me something, twice this week. He's offered it many times before, but I never thought to capture the moment with a photo. Until the other night, I just savored the moment. In peace with him. It took a very long time to get to this point with Duke, where he will lay down on cue and allow me to snuggle up next to him, laying calmly while allowing me to lay my head on his neck. 

Trust. It's quite humbling, really. 

The tire track in the dirt makes for an interesting backgound.

One little word describes what I'm feeling in this moment. Joy.

Capturing December, day 31

 Capturing December, photo a day challenge. 

Day 31. Fun. 

DH plowing snow for the neighbors. Working? Playing? He's having fun with it.

#capturingdecember #capturingdecemberchallenge #capturingmoments #capturingdecember2021 #photochallenge