Of mortals and marriages

In any conversation involving my love for horses and my husband, the same question always surfaces. 

"So, Dona, does Sam ride, too?" There's always a hesitant pause between the word 'so' and my name. Leaving me to wonder if the person asking is afraid I'll knock their block off.

Answer: No, he does not.

And nobody ducks.

Yes, there was a time when Sam rode horses. He's even gone on overnight horseback camping trips, something I've never done (add that to my bucket list). Thing is, he doesn't share my passion for horses. Truth be told, he's not really a passionate person. He's more the quiet reserved type, who prefers to observe, listen and respond if needed.

Like many couples, we have our shared interests; the outdoors, camping, being outdoors, traveling, watching certain television shows, eating, riding our four-wheelers, fishing, boating. And each other, of course. But that's pretty much where it ends. 

He loves to hunt. I do not. It's not my thing. I don't have that killer instinct and prefer to shoot animals with my camera. I went hunting with him twice. The first time I asked what I now believe to be the stupidest question I have every asked anyone in my life. Hunting involves a lot of waiting. And walking. And waiting. And more waiting. I'm a patient person but at one point I turned to him and, believing him to be the resident expert on deer behavior, I innocently asked, "What time do they usually show up?" Looking back now, not my finest moment. Sam may be a quiet man, but I know many a belly laugh erupted in the company of his friends when he shared that little memory with the guys.

Okay, so I have my flaws. I openly admit them. Nothing to be ashamed of, it's common knowledge, we are all entitled.

Now, he's not prone to snappy comebacks. Nor does he like to boast. He's not arrogant, but more mild mannered. Doesn't talk a lot.

I often think he's the guy who inspired that now famous slogan from the 70s and 80s, "When E. F. Hutton talks, people listen."

You get the picture.

A couple of years after I got Duke the question got asked for the umpteenth time. Sam is a patient man, but every one has a breaking point. I don't recall exactly where we were at the time, but the air immediately changed when the question smacked the atmosphere. This time, his usual silent shrug off transformed into a simple statement. A very flat, yet concise statement.

"No." I smiled as he spoke, half expecting it to end there. But no--he had something up his sleeve. His face beaming with pride, eyes alight with devilish delight as he announced for all to hear, "I never put anything with a brain between my legs."

Oh.

Really?

So stunned was I at the utterance of those few words, he completely caught me off guard. Did my ears betray me or did my quiet, mild-mannered husband just have a little fun at my expense? I didn't know what to say. His response was so far removed from what I expected, so uncharacteristic of him, I felt speechless. And I let it go. Let him have this one moment. Awkward as it was, funny for several others, it was one of those classic moments in marriage everyone who has ever spent years with one partner encounters. It's going to happen. At least once.

But then, it happened again. Only this time I was too far away to retort. Oh, I had decided after that first time, it would not repeat itself again. And if it did, I would have the last word. Fair is fair.

The opportunity presented itself a third time while attending the grand opening of the newly constructed veterinary clinic and hospital built by Duke's vet, David Rustebakke. Sam and I were chatting with another couple in the equine examination area. Sam worked with the man, Lynn, who shared his love of horses with his wife Patrice. During the exchange of stories and adventures, Lynn asked the question. Or dropped the bomb, depending on your point of view.

His eyes twinkling with delight, Lynn asked, "So, Sam, with Dona riding all the time, when are you going to get a horse of your own so you can join her?"

I felt a smirk draw on my face. Wait for it... 

Tilting his head slightly to the side in a dismissive manner, Sam slowly took a sip of his fruit punch, shrugged his shoulders and said, "I'm not."

Lynn furrowed his brows, exchanged confused glances with his wife, and I saw the silent question dash between them. Followed by the, 'Don't all couples share this love together like we do?' look on their faces.

"Why not?" Lynn asked, puzzled. Patrice edged in slightly closer, body leaning forward in anticipation.

Here it comes. Oh, I can't wait because this time I am ready!!!! 

Standing tall, chest puffed out Sam announced (not so quietly), "Because I never put anything with a brain between my legs." The smile on his face was enchanting. Pity I was about to wipe it off his face.

Two sympathetic heads turned in unison at my direction in awkward confusion. 

Slowly I reached my hand up and placed it on Sam's upper arm. "If that's what you truly want, then I can arrange it for you." Chin up. Big smile. Pride goeth before the fall.

Two sets of eyes and a pair of heads turn from me to Sam. Without saying a word Lynn and Patrice took one large step back, putting a good two feet between the four of us. More space to fill the awkward silence, no doubt.