From Baby Steps

Sometimes I don't realize how far I'm come on this journey. I think it's about reflection and taking the time to reflect. I have the perfect place to do this with my journal, and I need to give myself time to write about it. So, I'm making a promise to myself to spend more time reflecting on our journey.

Besides officially completing Level 1, Duke and I have gone out of our comfort zone numerous times the past two week. And I'm finding myself moving away from 'Oh no' and thinking 'Oh boy!' more often.

First, there was the goat. And through this goat I experienced a successful It's not about the... from start to finish. :) Duke met a goat face to face a couple of weeks ago. At first he was skeptical and a little nervous, then he became curious, and within a few minutes Duke was sniffing and licking the goat. :) The key was approach and retreat. I had been riding when the goat came in with a young girl. When I saw this opportunity my heart skipped a beat. This was something I wanted to do for some time. Before purchasing Duke in 2008, his former owner told me about an experience he had while riding Duke when they encountered a herd of goats in a small field. Duke refused to pass by the field and went into flight mode. I'd seen the behavior once before when I brought Duke into the arena while a girl was practicing goat tying. At the time my confidence was minimal so I kept the approach and retreat session short and our distance from the goat long as we made our way to the round pen located at the far end of the arena.

But I couldn't shake the lost opportunity from my mind.

What kind of leader was I? A safe one, for sure, but at some point we'd have to leave our comfort zone. Fast forward to this month. We're enjoying a lovely, connected ride when we hear the sound of foot falls on the bridge outside the arena. From Duke's back I can see over the wall between the arena and the hallway and I see the top of someone's head bobbing up and down. I watch as they round the corner and approach the gate, leading a goat. Duke's head immediately went up and he stopped in his tracks. Stay calm.  Go slow. Oh boy! Now we get to play with a goat! I will admit the riding session was coming to a close as it was getting a little boring for Duke. Well, our session was about to get very interesting.

As I dismounted the girl saw Duke's reaction and offered to leave. The look on her face when I asked her if she would mind if I introduced Duke to the goat was priceless. When I explained that this was something we needed to do, at first I don't think she believed me. Maybe she wasn't sure she heard me right. She kept saying 'I know most horses don't like goats, so if you want to keep riding, we can leave.' I convinced her this is good, and I've been wanting this kind of opportunity for some time.

Slowly we approached the goat, who was completely unaware of us, nor did he seem to care. Duke's ears were forward, he appeared calm but his head remained a little high. I wanted to switch over to the halter and lead rope (better tools for the task), but they are on the other side of the arena. When we turned away from the goat to fetch the halter, Duke's life came up and he began to dance around me. Okay we'll face the goat again, and back up to where the halter is. Nope. Dance...dance...dance. Hmmm. What to do...what to do. Adjust to fit the situation...use the tools I have. If we were on a trail ride and the halter was back at the trailer, I'd have to use the bridle and reins. I wasn't keen about doing this with a bit in his mouth, so I unclipped the right rein from the bit (I love these Parelli reins!) and I now had a 22' lead rope.

A few steps forward, watching Duke's reaction (ears, eyes, head, mouth), he's relaxed. Take a few steps back. Stop. Breathe! He's blinkin' and thinkin'. Ears forward. Head has lowered. Forward a few more steps. Watch. Back a couple. He's curious...this is good. The entire time I remained calm, not once did I hear the echo of my heart pounding. Yea!!! This is what confidence feels like...finally! I'm moving a little closer to horse savvy!!!

We repeated this and I'm guessing it took between three and five minutes before Duke was standing in front of the goat with a mere few inches of separation. Through it all Duke remained curious. I noticed him breathing more when he stretched his neck out to sniff, then touch the goat with his nose. Check the goat's rope to be sure Duke doesn't get tangled up in it. I backed him off one step, and watched him confidently approach the goat again, head down, breathing normal. All this time the goat was still ignoring Duke and I, but then he turned around and the two were face to face, eye to eye. The goat's owner observed how it must feel to be a goat having something that size coming toward you, but the goat was calm and perhaps curious too. Clearly he wasn't afraid of horses.

Duke got closer and closer sniffing and investigating this strange little creature until the goat was almost under his neck. When he started licking it I wondered how long it would take before curiousity turned to dominance. I've played enough with him to know two things: 1) he comes down quickly from fear and 2) once he gets past his fear of something he immediately wants to dominate it.

Time to move on. I thanked the girl and she expressed a grateful and hearfelt thank you; I think she was in shock. Maybe in the back of her mind she was thinking this isn't how most horse owners react...they always want the goat to leave. :)

This time when I turned Duke away from the goat to retrieve his halter, nothing changed. He calmly followed me, relaxed and confident.

What goat?

Since it was time to clean his stall and corral, and I knew the goat would be in the arena for a while, I wanted to further maximize this opportunity. After switching over to the halter, I left Duke tacked up and tied him to a pole near the goat...about 20 feet away. Allow him time to take this all in, give him another perspective of the goat while I clean.  Twenty minutes later when I walked past Duke to take a wheelbarrow load to the designated dumping site, he was standing quietly, facing the goat, watching. Smile.

Chores complete it was time to untack Duke outside at the trailer. By this time the girl was talking to a new boarder, a young man who recently offered to train Duke for me (that's another story). As I walked past, I noticed they were talking about horse training and I overheard him commenting about how few trainers there are in this area (not quite true, but...) and how he normally charges $49 per hour (funny, he quoted me $7 last month). Someone was definitely struting his stuff and it wasn't Duke. Outside at the trailer, we get untacked and go back inside for a little roll before dinner. Duke must have been thinking about that goat because as we came down the alley his attention was on the arena. Ears foward...where is it? Around the corner, through the gate, there's the goat and without hesitation Duke walked right up to the goat, ears forward and curious the entire time. As if they were best buds...reunited; the same way he greets Elvira when she visits. Again I thanked the girl, and again she thanked me with a tone of gratitude and relief. It was amazing. We walked off to find the perfect place to roll, then back to his stall for dinner.

As I stood watching him munching away, I remembered something...a moment, a gift Duke gave me. During the initial approach and retreat, after I decided not to fetch the halter, Duke and I had just retreated from the goat. It was during that quiet moment as I was debating whether it was time to get a little closer, Duke slowly turned his head to me, softly touched my right hand with his nose, then turned his attention back to goat, licking and chewing. Even now it brings tears to my eyes. What a truly beautiful gift for him to offer. I noticed it at the time and remember thinking He wants to do this. Trust him.

Trust him. I haven't allowed myself to trust Duke. There's this part of me that holds back. The toxic remains from a word of caution carelessly offered by a person just minutes after she retold the story of the time she climbed on the back of a green three year old mare she didn't know, with no preparation, only to find herself later trying to stop a runaway who only wanted to return to the safety and comfort of the barn. And she's giving me advice. Don't you trust him! If she only knew. When it comes to horses, everyone has advice. They give it because they once had a horse, or rode ponies as a child. But they always give it...without thinking, without knowing. I'm learning being a horse owner doesn't make one an expert on the subject; I own a closet full of clothes, but that doesn't make me a clothing designer.

Everyday I thank God I found Parelli. Parelli keeps me safe, sane, well-grounded and on the path to continuous improvement. Better your best. Never let it rest. Get your good better and your better best.

Well, this entry took longer than I originally planned. Another reason I don't write so often, it takes me hours to write one entry. Okay, we can work on that!  There are more baby steps to write about, but I need to wrap this up and move on to some household duties before heading down to the barn today.

Brrrrr...what happened to fall?

Okay, it's been in the mid 20s for the past five nights. Highly irregular for October. Decided to blanket Duke since his winter coat isn't quite filled in yet. He's done a thorough job of getting it dirty already. Yep that's my horse.

I bought another Fallis saddle about a month ago, it's much newer than the first one and very different. Have only ridden in it a couple of times, yesterday being the latest. Pics to follow; forgot my camera yesterday so I didn't get any pics.

Spending lots of time on ground work, rehearsing for my Level 1 skill audition. A Parelli friend and I spent a whole Saturday afternoon working on it two weeks ago, it was a lot of work, and hot that day (hard to believe, but true). We had fun and this is the first time I've seen myself playing with Duke; quite an eye opener. Got lots of good footage, and several out takes. Duke was fantastic, but after a couple of hours, the rebel clown in him came out. Playful guy that one...with a twist of naughtiness. The look on both our faces at the end is priceless. Oh my Dukey horse, he keeps me on my toes...always thinking! He's waaaay too smart and I'm way too slow. After this, he earned the nickname RC, for Rebel Clown. We started indoors, and worked through the skills/games, but after a couple of hours Duke started making up his own games. During the squeeze game between me and a barrel, he made it clear he wanted to play dominate the barrel, so we moved outside, ending up in the parking lot with two chairs. Here are the out takes and the reason why I affectionately call Duke my Rebel Clown.

Of building bridges and dreams...

Duke and I after playing in the arena for over two hours last Saturday.

For months I pondered it. Could we? Would we? Should we? Oh gawd I'd love to! I want to!

So I decided to do it. The other day I bought two tickets to the Parelli Celebration coming to Reno in May. I'm so happy I'm dancing inside!!! Woooooo hooooooooooooo weeeeeeeee! Even Sam is excited about the prospect of spending three days with Pat and Linda Parelli.

I know it may be hard for someone to understand what this really means to me, so I can summarize it by saying if not for Parelli Natural Horsemanship, I would not be enjoying the relationship I have with Duke. Pat and Linda made it all possible. It could easily have gone the other way, my dream could have died, and I'd be yet another first time horse owner who got frustrated and gave up because she didn't know what to do and when to do it. I came close, but chose instead to patiently persist in the proper position. :) They gave me the tools I needed to build my bridge from dream to reality.

And what a beautiful bridge it is...

Let the countdown to the celebration begin!!!!



Here's a teaser of what's in store...from the 2008 USA tour.

Fancy footwork...

Yesterday I realized something, it's been 8 months since Duke came into my life; notice how much my journal entries have dropped? And I can say with certainty that he has certain traits and characteristics. He is very complex, like me, so in that way we relate to each other. He can go from being soft and obedient to bracy and disobedient in a heartbeat. He's always thinking, very mouthy, confident, naughty, dominant, and playful. He keeps me on my toes and teaches me something new everyday; he is an awesome teacher.

What has he taught me?

• To be patient, again
• To relax and not be such a direct line thinker
• To be as gentle as possible but as firm as necessary (assertiveness)
• To say "Oh boy!" instead of "Oh no!"
• The fine art of moseying
• Leadership

I could go on, because it's something new every day.
Thankfully for me he's also patient...most of the time. And one other thing I've learned is he gets bored with arenas. Bored! Bored! Bored! This time of year we have to stay inside, in the arena to play, whether on the ground, or in the saddle. I love playing on the ground with Duke. I love riding too! But the ground work is so important. If you don't have respect on the ground, you won't get it in the saddle.
The other day I was playing with Duke and had one of those moments...a moment where I was able to work my way through a situation with him. To keep him engaged in the activity, I have to be provocative and mix things up. Repetition isn't his thing. When learning something new, once he gets it, move on.

So, this time I decided to get out some barrels and ground poles; two and three, respectively. The barrels to play a 'squeeze' game to help both of us become more comfortable with trailer loading, and the poles to keep Duke's mind engaged during the 'circle' game we play. I thought, if he has to think about where he's putting his feet, he won't be so bored with circling. Additionally, lately I've noticed him tripping over his feet, even though we pulled his shoes and trimmed his hooves on January 5th. Could be laziness or boredom, but I thought perhaps an exercise in moving over an object, and having to pick up his feet, would be useful and beneficial.

I set the two barrels on end about three feet apart, and the poles off to the side in a V pattern, but with the extra pole in the middle. We played on-line (on the ground with a halter and lead rope) with the barrels, backing Duke in between, which is difficult for him because he's not confident with objects behind him. From there I sent him forward into a circle, using the barrels as obstacles in his path to keep him from getting bored with the mindless act of going around and around and around in an endless circle. At a walk then a trot, we went around one barrel, then between the two, then out away from the barrels, then back around one, change direction, and go the opposite direction. My timing was off several times and the lead rope hung up on the barrel causing Duke to stop when he felt the pressure, so I need to work on that. I get so into watching his movement that I often forget I have a lead rope in my hand.

Then we moved over to the poles, starting Duke off at a slow walk first so he could negotiate the placement of the poles. Immediately Duke offered to trot. The first two circles he completely avoided the poles, first skirting around the outside, then skirting the inside toward me. Oh boy! The third time I positioned myself properly putting Duke right over the poles. Going over he hit them with his hooves and stepped on them, knocking them around while tripping and losing his balance...and his confidence. He genuinely looked frustrated and very sour. So we went off to other games...touch it, sideways, porcupine...all things he knew giving him time to gain back his confidence and me time to think of a different strategy for him. Then I had a thought...what if I went over the poles with him, both ways, so we do the exercise together? Back to the poles we went, walking together this way over them, and then back in the other direction. I gave him a moment to think before I took up my position and I sent him over the poles again. First at a nice calm walk, then Duke offered to trot and this time I watched as he crossed over the poles, placing his feet perfectly between each pole, never hitting or tripping as he moved. He looked like he was prancing...so beautiful!!! As soon as he finished his expression changed to excitment as he happily trotted right to me, licking his lips, ears forward, attentive and ready. If he could talk he might have said, "Wow! That was fun!" Considering our past experiences with poles at a trot always resulted in him clumsily striking them and tripping, this moment was a major breakthrough.

And with that, we called it a day.

I've also learned to end our sessions on a positive note. We'll both remember that next time.

The journey continues...