Chasing that feeling...

Remembering Duke. Highlights from a Memorial Day weekend parade; the Locust Blossom Festival Parade in Kendrick, Idaho. A first for both Duke and I, as neither of us had ever been in a parade, until that day. This journal entry was originally posted as a note to my Facebook page on June 5, 2015. It popped up in my Memories today. I knew I had to share it here, as well.

For years I have chased a feeling--an elusive feeling--of being one with my horse. Four feet, two hearts, one mind. Buck Brannaman talks about chasing that and reminds us it may take a very long time before we find it, but it's a good thing to chase. Pat Parelli reminds his students, "There's nothing you can't do, when the horse becomes a part of you." 

On Saturday, May 30, 2015, on a street lined with hundreds of people--some friends, most strangers--I understood the feeling the words of these two horsemen. 

We met at 8:00 am on the west side of Kendrick in the Primeland grain silo parking lot. Duke came out of the trailer with that "Where are we?" look, high headed and a wee excited. Rather than tying him next to the tack room, I tied him to the other side so he could see all the other team horses. The horses were all calm and quiet as the team members set about their tasks to get ready. Mounted and ready to roll by 9:00. Parade started at 10:00 on the east side of town, so we rode through town in the alley. This was our chance to practice and Charlene, our coach and team captain, wanted us to maintain one horse length spacing at all times. We had two walkers with us to assist if someone's horse got troubled, and Charlene reminded everyone if we had to correct our horse, to turn the horse inside toward the other horses and away from the crowd. Charlene paired Duke and I with a young rider named Nella and her, paint gelding Tonto, the only boys in the group of eight that day. Duke and Tonto got along very well. 

Duke tacked up pre-parade.

Duke remained calm, but occasionally pressed forward to close the spacing. Rather than pulling on his mouth the whole time, I used half-halts (thank you Jodi Simpson) to encourage him to slow down. Only had one tense moment behind Phil's Family Foods when Duke heard the sound--make that the roar--of the refrigerator unit fan. It was pretty loud, and he danced and jigged a bit but settled down straight away.  

And then there were the bagpipes! :) LOL. They must have been with the Kendrick Fire Company because I never saw the pipers, but the second Duke heard them playing, his head shot up, his ears pricked forward, and he looked in the direction the sound came from. What is that?!?! I had to laugh out loud and told him those are bagpipes and I'm part Scottish, so bagpipes are a good thing! He got over them immediately, and it was refreshing to hear the pipers playing the song over and over. 

While we waited for the parade to start, we practiced some maneuvers, and Charlene went over the different whistle cues to signal each maneuver. Our number in the parade was 73, and there were 74 entries, so we were at the very end. Oh, and our horse group won 2nd place!! We received the ribbon before the parade began. :) About 10:20 we started moving toward the parade route. Duke was mouthing the bit quite rapidly. As we neared the starting point, I closed my eyes, said a quick prayer and surrounded Duke and myself with white light. Over and over, I told myself to relax and sit deep in the saddle and keep my knees out of his side. Duke is a reliable horse, but he's a horse, and I truly had no idea how he would react. I've seen enough to know anything can happen. He's got shoes on now, and metal shoes can be slippery on asphalt. I'd never ridden him on the streets, or around large crowds of people. One of the walkers advised the riders the horses might spook when we passed the announcer's booth because of the sound, but Duke's had exposure to that from our team penning nights. And there's the cheering and clapping, something I've not exposed him to. Bubbles and plastic bags and hoola hoops and streamers and music and pop-up canopies...yes, got all that covered. But not clapping and cheering.  

Turns out, I needn't worry. 

Minutes before we turned on to Main Street, I took the reins up just enough to 'feel' him...make light contact with his mouth. And there I held the reins. 

Moments later, we became one. 

Duke and Tonto at the beginning of the parade route.

I always wondered what it would feel like when I crossed that bridge and felt that harmony. Walking down that parade route, I lived it. The crowd was sparse at the beginning but as we made our way closer and closer to the park the crowd grew larger and larger. Duke took it all in stride, like a seasoned pro. I was so relaxed I found myself waving and smiling at people, whether I knew them or not! And Duke was drinking it all in. He loved it!!!  

One of our maneuvers called The Tractor.

Along the route we performed several maneuvers, and everything just flowed flawlessly along. Duke maintained the spacing and didn't rush. We approached the announcer's booth without a hitch, but at the park someone either had a bubble machine or was blowing a lot of bubbles and the group got a little out of order for a second or two but quickly recovered. I had previously exposed Duke to bubbles plenty of times so we rode through the cloud of the bubbles without breaking stride. 

And it was over before I knew it. It went by so quickly! Funny thing, the only time Duke acted up was at the end, as if he was disappointed it was already over!!! LOL! What a character that boy of mine is!!! 

I really need to give him more credit.  

Photo op time, Duke and I are third from the left.

Back at the trailers it was time for more pictures and Duke copped an attitude about one of the mares and was giving her the stinky eye...to the point that she didn't want to stand next to him. But Mitzi got her to come alongside him; not sure what that was all about but the photos were taken, and we arrived back at the trailers to find ourselves pretty much blocked in by cars. Apparently, people don't realize that parking next to a horse trailer isn't a great idea. I had cars on both sides of my trailer and a very anxious horse who, for some reason, didn't want to stand still now. At first, I considered tying Duke next to the tack room so I could get everything off in a hurry, but as soon as I tied him up, Duke wedged himself between the trailer and the black pick up next to it. Got him out of there before a stirrup got hung up in a side mirror and took him back over to the other side. If he pooped on the white car, well, maybe that would be a lesson for them. 

Getting blocked in by vehicles.

Duke watching all the happenings.

Duke was more excited and "on his toes" after the parade than before. He didn't want to load up (he gets that way sometimes at the end of an event...trail ride, show, team penning, whatever...it's as if he's afraid he's going to get left behind). Interesting... Got him in the trailer and we headed home. I was so very proud of my boy, and yes, I cried on the drive home. I couldn't have asked for a more rewarding, enjoyable and validating first parade experience! Duke carried me proudly, true to his Morgan bloodlines. Brave, courageous, yet calm and levelheaded. 

We did several other parades after that: Culdesac Shebang Days, Lewiston Round Up three times, and Veteran’s Day. He always took good care of me, and never gave me cause to worry. He truly was my heart horse--my once in a lifetime horse. I feel his absence every day. Life just isn’t the same without him.  

Losing Duke reminded me even more than before, to savor every moment we live with someone. And to treasure those moments, hold them close and take time to journal about them because someday when the moment becomes a distant memory, you may want to look back and relive the feeling.

 

Lessons in Life: Open me up

You never know where a book will take you.

Even after you've opened the cover and listened to the music of the pages turning, you never truly know. Until one day it hits you.

Right now the only thing that's going to hit you is the realization that this is a very long entry. For those of you with 2 second attention spans, may I suggest you cozy up with a recap blog or something shallow you can wade through without getting your ankles wet.

Twenty years ago I discovered a book that later would open doors I didn't even know existed. From the moment I first saw Diana Gabaldon's novel, Outlander, in the monthly Literary Guild catalog it pulled me like the moon's power over the ocean tides. And I bathed in every aspect of it. I had to read it. From the opening line on the very first page, it consumed me. I've read it numerous times...I've lost track of how many. The cover art grabbed my attention. The synopsis spoke to me. Everything about it appealed to me.

It's the kind of story you don't want to end, you know?

But this isn't an entry about the book or the story. There's plenty of blogs on the internet devoted to everything Outlander. Google it, I dare you...you'll be gone for hours, days...hell, you'll never make it back here to find out where I'm taking this. What I want to say, right here, right now, is how this book created the bridge over which I walked to reach a childhood dream.

My childhood was filled with lofty dreams. And yes, if you've read past entries you know that wasn't always the case, there was another side to my 'formative' years. A darker side. What-ever. From that darkness emerged a spark of wild imagination. A passion for life fueled by a thirst to live. This desire to restore and rebuild the core of my existence. To be wild and free, bold and bright. Like wildfire, this spark of life in me, spread.

Only one thing was missing. The vehicle that would carry me, propel me, and deliver me. Only one creation on this earth possessed the magic to mesh with all that breathed inside me, bringing wind to be wild, speed to be free, thunder to be bold, and spirit to be bright. No other animal encompasses all that and more...but the horse. Pat Parelli once said, 'The horse is nature in its finest form.' Simple words of a simple truth.

So now, we have a book. And a horse. The two fundamentals on which my childhood was built. Books and horses. Sitting here now I am smiling from ear to ear because now I see how it all came together. Looking back, I had no idea when I bought Outlander the instrumental role it would play in my life. That it alone would be the catalyst to tie everything together.

After all, we are all connected.

So let me tie it all together. In my youth, having a horse in my life--one I could call my own--was my one desire. Unfortunately, it wasn't practical and my parents said no. I pushed and pleaded, begged and dreamed, but the answer was always no. We can't. So I pushed that dream to the back burner and left it there to steep for about forty years. Then in May 2008, time and circumstances turned in my favor and Duke, a then 13 year old bay Morgan gelding, entered my life. Followed four years later by AJ, a then 5 year old palomino Quarter Horse.

Fast forward to August 9, 2014, the day Starz network premiered the much anticipated television show, Outlander. From the opening scene, and narration, I knew the show would be spectacular. I watched it three times that day, flushed with satisfaction, like a teenager bingeing on a pepperoni pizza. Everything aligned, creating a harmonious feel to the production. Within Starz, a team banded together, bringing to life a beloved story and it's characters. Pure. Magic.

Who knew sitting there on my couch, watching Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe breathing life into Jamie and Claire, would breathe life into my inner desire to get off that damn couch and get moving? I certainly didn't!

The first spark happened a couple of months later. In early October, I took AJ to his first horse show. We entered a couple of classes to keep it simple. I was wearing a beautiful show shirt custom tailored and sewn by my sister, styled in a slimming fashion. My friend Hillary took a photo of me. Everyone complemented me on that shirt, but all I saw in that picture was my muffin top bulging out above the waist of my jeans.

At that time I weighed 160 pounds, and I was miserable, health wise. Walking up stairs hurt my knees, but I always took the stairs instead of the elevator; it's a habit I formed long ago. Having horses means having hay, and hay bales weigh between 50 - 75 pounds a piece, and horses eat a lot of hay. Every summer I buy seven ton, and every year I struggled to unload and move the hay. I was severely out of shape. Painfully out of shape. And I hated that! But my love for all things Outlander would put me on a journey back to fitness.

Through the Starz Outlander Facebook page I started noticing posts about the main actor, Sam, and his passion for fitness. In December I saw posts about reaching your peak. Shortly after the New Year, he revealed an event to take place on March 14-15 called My Peak Challenge (MPC) and invited anyone interested to join in the fun. The idea behind MPC was two-fold, 1) help raise money for his chosen charity, Bloodwise UK while 2) challenging yourself to reach your peak. Did someone say challenge? I'm in! The peak could be anything, but many participants chose a physical challenge, such as marathons, climbing, swimming, and hiking. To raise money, those interested could purchase a package from a UK clothing company, Bear Strength Clothing, which included items such as a t-shirt and a wrist band commemorating the event. Between January and March everyone was tasked with preparing for their own challenge, while Sam and his fitness coach, John Valbonesi provided access to guidance, tips and fitness tests. Without knowing exactly how far in advance Sam planned the event (maybe the fall after shooting for Outlander completed?) support for My Peak Challenge grew as news spread among fans and enthusiasts.

Besides my weight, my biggest challenge was being out of breath while doing anything, especially loping either Duke or AJ. Three laps around the indoor arena was the most I could pull without having to stop to catch my breath. So, I selected two challenges: lope AJ more than three laps around the arena without getting winded, and ride my bike over 8 miles in one day. Two tasks that twenty or thirty years ago would have been everyday activities. And we all know what time and neglect often does to the body.

First I needed a plan and words of motivation. At work I keep an acronym close by for those days I need a little extra something to keep me aligned with success. The acronym is F. A. S. T., which is Focus, Accountability, Support, and Time limit. I started working out on the elliptical at home. In the beginning all I could muster was a paltry four minutes before my lungs started burning and my knees screamed at me. But I set reasonable goals, adding 2 minutes every few days and by the end of January 2015 I was putting in 30 minutes on that machine. No problemo! Focus...check!

As luck would have it, I learned a cousin of mine is a Beachbody coach, so I contacted her about the fitness programs available, a topic she had brought up a few times before but I hadn't chosen to pursue. We chatted and she signed me up for the 21 Day Fix program, invited me to one of her groups, and the ball was now in motion. At the same time, I discovered a group of Outlander fans involved with MPC on Facebook. My experience with fan groups always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Since one summer night watching television in 1965 when the Beatles performed live in Shea Stadium, the word fan makes me want to quickly run for cover. I don't do fan groups. Period. However...my gut instinct nudged me forward and so I cautiously ventured over to the group, known as 'The Peak Posse' and asked to join. Between the Beachbody group and The Peak Posse, I now had Accountability and Support in place. All the remained, was the Time limit, but that was already determined and set for March 14. All systems go!

Through those two groups I learned so much and quickly realized how my eating habits affected my health, which translated into my life style. I participated in a one-week clean eating challenge with my cousin, which became a major turning point in my shopping decisions. Through that challenge I learned about cooking with coconut oil and adding almond butter to my snacks, and I keep both stocked in my kitchen at all times.

For the next two months I woke up 45 minutes early every day, popped in my 21 Day Fix DVD and worked out for 30 minutes, five to six days a week. It was tough at first and I didn't push myself too hard, but by the end of the first month I felt myself getting stronger and feeling better. I looked forward to the morning workouts. One day I noticed I wasn't fighting that 3 o'clock crash at work. I felt better, healthier, and happier. The weight and inches came off. By the time MPC weekend rolled around, my steps were light and my lungs were strong. I made both my goals, with a slight delay on loping AJ which required a creative approach to address a bad habit I created for him. I video taped both events for prosperity. I made the 8 mile bike ride, up and down hills no less. I loped AJ 13 laps around the arena before stopping. I wasn't even winded. And I felt vindicated. 

Better yet, I lost twenty pounds and five inches from my waist. But this isn't where the story

ends. Here is where my goal to build up my stamina to lope AJ would tie everything together. While attending a local horse expo in late March I heard news of a newly formed equestrian drill team in the valley. Now we're talking folks!! This is exactly what I had been dreaming about. Dancing to music on horseback. Point me in the direction and sign me up!!! 

A month later, on April 20th my friend Erica told me the drill team was practicing at a local arena and I should come watch. I did. And I wanted in on the fun. But some of the manuevers scared me. I wasn't sure I had the confidence to ride a drill. And I thought it over. Should I join? Could I control a 1,000 pound free spirit with one hand while holding a flag in the other? Did I have what it takes to ride a drill? And if not, could I live with the regret if I didn't? Two weeks later on May 4, I loaded Duke into the trailer and showed up at the arena to ride. Just as the drill master was calling the team together, I chickened out and spent the time riding Duke in an adjacent smaller arena. But the following week, I came back, mounted up and rode with the group. I haven't looked back. The manuever that scared me then, is now one of my favorites.

This is a competitive drill team. We don't ride every Monday just to have something to do. We ride to compete. Last year Silver Creek Drill Team performed in several local parades, taking first place in the Horse division in all but one parade. This summer, our first drill competition is in May. I can't wait! I've since switched to riding AJ since he's younger and doesn't break gait as Duke tends to do. AJ loves drill. It's a great match for the two of us. Looking forward to the competition season, I'm nervous and excited all at once. But I know, standing in formation, waiting to enter that arena my stomach will be tied in knots and fluttering all at once. The music will begin, we'll go through the gate and just like every other competition I've attended everything else will fade away...it will be just AJ and me, with our team mates, dancing with the wind and the rhythm. I'll be living my dream...finally. After all these years.

So, thank you Diana Gabaldon for challenging yourself to see if you could 'just write a book.' That book basically changed my life. Thank you Sam Heughan for challenging me to take my health and fitness more seriously. You built the bridge I needed to cross over from misty sometime dreams to solid fulfilling reality.

You know, I could easily have told this story in a couple of lines or paragraphs. Reading Outlander led me to watch Starz Original series Outlander which got me involved in My Peak Challenge so I could get fit enough to ride my horse in competitive drill, which I dreamed of doing as a child. But I'm a story teller, not a kindergarden teacher.

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Want to get in on the fun? Join My Peak Challenge 2016 today. Become a part of something big, help yourself while helping others and get healthy. The MPC team raised the bar for 2016 and created an inclusive package to get you on track to better health. Check it out today. You won't be sorry, but you will be happy.

You can also help Bloodwise UK. Make a donation, or learn more about what you can do to help.

And don't forget to get geared up at Bear Strength


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